Once again, I am successful in being massively behind the times. April begins our month spent studying and practicing Satanism.

The History of Satanism

The term “Satanism” and associated terms like “Satanic” or “Satanist” have been used historically by the Catholic Church and similar organizations to describe their undesirables. During The Inquisition, the term was applicable to anyone accused of witchcraft. Not that evidence of any group of actual devil worshippers ever existed.

While the term “Satanism” has been around for hundreds of years, the more formalized version of Satanism is a much more recently created religion. Also called ‘LaVeyan Satanism’, this newer religion is what we will be practicing for the month of April.

After years of occult study and research, Anton Szander LaVey shaved his head on Walpurgisnacht (April 30th) of 1966 and declared the founding of the Church of Satan. He proclaimed 1966 as “Year One”, Anno Satanas - the first year of the Age of Satan.

Three years later, in 1969, the first edition of The Satanic Bible was published. A collection of LaVey’s humanist observations on humanity and religion, the book continues to be in print today. Michael bought be a copy for my birthday, knowing I’d have to research it for April.

Common Misconceptions about Satanism

Being raised Catholic; I’ve long been familiar with the misconceptions of what people think Satanism is about. Many people, mainly fueled by unjustified fears and Hollywood, believe that Satanists are some sort of evil cult. They run around sacrificing animals and trying to raise demons through magical incantations.

Satanism and it’s followers are seen as one of society’s great bogeymen, although they are quickly being replaced by Grand Theft Auto as the catch-all for blaming societies ills. Ad mentioned in the history, the church has used the term to describe heretics for centuries, regardless of what those heretics actually believed.

On the other side of the coin is many a delusional fifteen-year-old outcast. They see Satanism in much the same vein as the concept of anarchy, and understand it about as little. They are merely seeking a way to make themselves powerful. While the empowering tenets of Satanism can teach you to make yourself powerful, it won’t in the same way that these kids think it will. There’s nothing mystical about it; it just amounts to growing up and becoming a bigger person.

Beliefs of Satanism

The religion of Satanism, as LaVey espouses it, is centered almost exclusively upon the concept of being one’s own god; as such, values and attachments such as love, affection, and caring, along with opposing concepts such as hate and wrath, are to be disseminated at the discretion of the individual Satanist.

Satanists do not believe in the Christian god, or any gods of any religion for that matter. Most shocking of all, they don’t believe in Satan as a god or as much of anything beyond an example. Satan is seen almost like a character archetype or a legendary creature, representing the best of pride, ambition, and mastery of the self. He dared to stand up for himself and his beliefs against his own creator.

One of the strongest impressions that The Satanic Bible has left me with after my initial read is that of a very twisted self-help book. It’s very strong in it’s opinions of improving yourself, becoming the person you want to be, and not holding back. There are also strong arguments towards not listening to those who complain about situations they refuse to remove themselves from; described as yourself being used in someone else’s perpetual victim fantasy. There are interesting ideas like these peppered throughout the book, with some of them combined into larger lists of importance.

Practices of Satanism

Similar to the concept of the Ten Commandments in any Christian religion, Satanists have a list of Eleven Satanic Rules to be obeyed on the earth:

  1. Do not give opinions or advice unless you are asked.
  2. Do not tell your troubles to others unless you are sure they want to hear them.
  3. When in another’s lair, show him respect or else do not go there.
  4. If a guest in your lair annoys you, treat him cruelly and without mercy.
  5. Do not make sexual advances unless you are given the mating signal.
  6. Do not take that which does not belong to you unless it is a burden to the other person and he cries out to be relieved.
  7. Acknowledge the power of magic if you have employed it successfully to obtain your desires. If you deny the power of magic after having called upon it with success, you will lose all you have obtained.
  8. Do not complain about anything to which you need not subject yourself.
  9. Do not harm little children.
  10. Do not kill non-human animals unless you are attacked or for your food.
  11. When walking in open territory, bother no one. If someone bothers you, ask him to stop. If he does not stop, destroy him.

There are also Nine Satanic Sins to be avoided:

  1. Stupidity
  2. Pretentiousness
  3. Solipsism
  4. Self-deceit
  5. Herd Conformity
  6. Lack of Perspective
  7. Forgetfulness of Past Orthodoxies
  8. Counterproductive Pride
  9. Lack of Aesthetics

These are the main focal points for our daily practitioning. It will be really interesting to have a larger set of doctrines to follow again, such as in Discordianism, without the daily prayer or meditation we’ve had for the past two months.

Satanic Holidays

In the belief structure of Satanism, the most important holiday is one’s own birthday. Since none of us have a birthday in the month of April, we will be celebrating the next two most important holidays; the birth of Anton LaVey on April 11th and Walpurgisnacht on April 30th. We’re not sure exactly how we will be celebrating these holidays just yet, but we can assure you that our plans will be crazy arrogant.

How We Will Practice

For the month of April we will be observing the following practices:

  • We will obey the Eleven Satanic Rules of the Earth
  • We will try to avoid committing the Nine Satanic Sins
  • We will be indulging in the Seven Deadly Sins in moderation
  • Sara and Michael will be indulging themselves by attending Sin City at least once
  • I will be resuming my gambling
  • There will be drinking and carousing and partying
  • I will begin a physical self-improvement journey

That about sums it up. I sincerely apologize for being way late on this; I was having too much fun indulging in the sin of sloth.