I had intended to post progress updates on my February goals, but that failed for reasons I shall explain below. Instead this will be a progress report for the entire Jainist experiment, and even that a few weeks late.

If you recall, my goals for February were:

  1. Veganism (with additional restrictions)
  2. Ahimsa - Nonviolence in thought, word and deed
  3. Truthfulness
  4. Limiting possession and use of worldly goods
  5. Daily prayer, meditation, and/or study of religious texts

The first few days are always shaky as we try to remember what our new rituals are, but I got into the routine fairly quickly. The first week I was proud of my success in sticking to my goals. And then things unhinged messily, due to a case of the February Blahs. Suddenly I couldn’t be bothered to do anything productive, whether it be meditation, cooking—even laundry and returning emails. For two weeks I did nothing but read fantasy novels and manga in my spare time.

My failings did not mean I entirely abandoned Year of Faith, but it completely wiped out goal 5 and did some damage to goal 4.

1. Veganism

This is one goal that made me feel successful, despite my lack of meditation. On February 14 Michael and I visited Jain Jewelers and learned that dairy products are not prohibited by Jains, but after one celebratory piece of cheese I decided to go back to my original dietary restrictions for the remainder of the month.

Unlike Michael, I did not lose any weight due to my altered diet. I did however resort to…shall we say less traditional vegetarian choices. The restriction on onion and garlic made it virtually impossible to eat any prepared savory food, and I did not have the motivation to make anything from scratch. Except cookies. I subsisted for days on nothing but vegan cookies and fruit juice. I ended the month on a diet of Yves Veggie Dogs, despite containing the evasive term “spices” on the ingredient list. In order to survive, one has to make compromises.

I did gain an entirely new appreciation for ingredient listings (did you know that ketchup contains garlic?) and was surprised by the lack of vegan options. Considering this is the part of Canada I would expect to have the highest proportion of vegetarians, it’s surprising how much you see nothing but meat, meat, meat when you’re hungry and looking for a nice vegan meal.

2. Non-violence

Ahimsa is a bit hard to measure, as certain aspects of my goal were rather ephemeral. I cannot accurately recall if I argued with anyone. I do know that I was feeling surly and unsociable for much of the month, and thus did a lot of thinking uncharitable thoughts about people, then correcting myself and feeling guilty.

The physical portion I was good about. I did not intentionally injure any people, animals, insects or plants. I did accidentally step on the cat a time or two, but I swear that I didn’t see her. I managed to avoid walking on the grass at all, except for once at the beginning of the month. That habit was actually hard for me to break come March; having spent all of February taking the long way around, I now feel remorse for crushing blades of grass.

3. Truthfulness

Again, this goal is on the speculative side. I think I was truthful, but as I am the kind of person who is honest almost all the time anyway, this wasn’t much of a habit change. As a result, it’s entirely possible that times I would normally tell a white lie to simplify an answer would have passed without me even noticing.

4. Limiting possessions

In some ways it feels like I failed at this; my house is still a cluttered mess, I didn’t get rid of any possessions and I even bought a new item or two. Also, despite my best intentions I ended up spending a lot of time idling on the internet and reading useless fluff.

All was not lost, however. I did not once use my iPod, despite my previous habit of only removing it for work and sleep. I hardly listened to music at all. The items that I bought were for craft projects I had already begun and not unnecessary items. I bought only one Starbucks coffee the entire month, breaking my daily habit.

5. Daily prayer and meditation

This was certainly my biggest failure. I did remember to do the Navkar Mantra almost every morning, but the 48 minutes of meditation and religious study lasted perhaps five days. After that I kept intending to get it done but didn’t quite have the time today, perhaps tomorrow…and so goes the procrastinator’s mantra. In the throes of my mid-month lethargy I gave up any pretensions that I was going to succeed at meditation, but even then I think I assumed I would start the habit up again.

I found meditation to be extremely difficult. While I don’t have a problem sitting in one place for that long, going so much as thirty seconds without thinking is an exercise in futility. It felt mostly like I was wasting perfectly good time, which is a major contributing factor to my failure. I always feel like I don’t have enough hours in the day to do everything I want, so the idea of taking an hour out of my possible productive time to stare at a wall is not very motivating. As well, I tend to be constantly short on sleep, so I told myself I would surely fall asleep if I tried to not-think today (and it did happen a few times on those days when I tried to meditate).

Buddhism in May is another meditative religion, and I am determined to make a better showing of it next time.